Peace, bring it all to peace

Peace.

Bring it all to peace.

The storm surrounding me, let it break at Your name.

Still, call a sea to still.

The rage in me to still, every wake at Your name.  

Jesus, Jesus...You make the darkness tremble.

Jesus, Jesus....You silence fear!  

Jesus, Jesus...You make the darkness tremble.

Jesus.  Jesus.

And it’s why I sing!  

Your praise will ever be on lips.

“Tremble”~Bethel Music 

Whew!  This song just makes me want to want to stand on the top of a mountain and sing it at the top of my lungs.  I can’t tell you how many times during these last 10 months I’ve felt peace.  And still.  I’ve had many days where I’ve truly been still.  Still enough to feel his love and presence around me.  Still enough to just call out His name when fear creeps in.  And still enough to pray for others.  Just this week, a friend of a friend was given a diagnosis that wasn’t easy to hear.  My heart just breaks for her and her family but know that just as God sustained me through my battle, He will be there for her ALL the way.  Two friends I mentioned in a former post are going through chemo and surgery soon.  I know their fear and hate that they are having to go through this pain.  Over the last few weeks, I’ve felt a real push from the Lord,  to reach out,  ministering to these precious people.  Whether it’s breast cancer, or another illness, I want them to know that our God is good and will never leave them.  I had many wonderful people tell me that during the early days of my diagnosis and that reassurance was just what I needed to hear.  Just please pray for me as I do my best to help others during their battles and pray for those that are sick.  

These last two weeks have been full of fear and the unknown as I really didn’t know what this oral chemo would do to my body.  All I could think about was the terrible way that my original chemo regimen made me feel.  I talked to a nurse with the online prescription company that fills it each time, for a solid hour, as she told what all it could do.  I then met with a precious pharmacist at the Cancer Center, here in Greenville.  She calmed my nerves tremendously and this first round hasn’t been too bad.  The common side effects are mouth sores-none so far, nausea-I’ve had none, diarrhea-none of that either, fatigue-yeah I’m tired most of the time, and hand/foot syndrome(blistering and peeling of hands and feet)-my hands are slightly red and peeling a tiny bit.  

So daily, I thank Him for yet another day to walk this Earth, feeling good, more hours to spend with our angel boy and my family, and for His faithfulness.  I know that I have MANY more 2 week cycles of the Xeloda but the first round has been good to me.  I see my doctor next week and will have blood work done and we’ll determine if I’m on the right dosage.  5,000 mg a day is a lot and taking 7 pills every morning and 7 at night is NO fun.  But once again, I try to just swallow those bad boys and know that they are keeping any cancer away from my body.  Since the tumor didn’t shrink completely from 16 rounds of chemo, my doctor felt that this medicine was something I needed to take.  I trust my doctor and know that his decision is the best for me.  God gave him the knowledge to study each case and work with cancer patients, and I value his opinion even more knowing that He knows our Savior and is a praying man.  I also head back to the Gibbs center for a radiation follow up next week.  I’m super excited to see that little group of precious people.  They loved on me so during those 33 treatments and I’ll forever be grateful for their sense of calmness each and everytime I visited.  

So as I’m on medical leave through the end of this school year, I’ve had a lot of time to rest.  

I occasionally meet friends for lunch, and today I got to meet the designer that will be creating my outfit for the upcoming benefit in Greenville, Couture for a Cause on September 6.  All  proceeds will be going to the Greenville chapter of the American Cancer Society.   

 I’m super excited to see her drawings and hear her ideas,  as it has to be constructed from repurposed/recycled materials.  And my friend Jenny’s daughter, Amelia, who was diagnosed with retinoblastoma at 6 weeks, will be participating alongside me.  What an honor and privilege to walk the runway with her, as she’s gone through so much during such a short little life.  She’s my hero and “port sister”.  

So other than a few lunches here and there, I truly am able to have lots of quiet time, catch up on some Netflix, do chores around the house, clean out some closets, and work on this new small business adventure. 

 So many of you have been so supportive of this endeavor Erica and I have begun, and we can’t thank you enough for your excitement and kind words of encouragement.  As I sit back each day, I can’t help but think that God knew exactly what He was doing by opening this door for us. 

I needed a task in my life to keep the darkness from creeping in.  My creative teacher brain of course isn’t in the classroom, and I miss my job.  I miss teaching the children and the comraderi with my peers. But I know that I made the right decision by staying out the rest of the year.  Being on chemo does keep my immune system down, and it makes me tired.  And if I can’t give 100% to those children, which my precious sub is giving 200%, I’ll stay home and return in August, full speed, God willing.  

Just to see, once again, the Lord’s hand in this season of my life and starting this business has been unbelievable.  The people that we’ve met and the stories we’ve heard  has  reaffirmed that the Swanky Steer is part of God’s plan for our lives.  It’s truly been a family affair,  as our husbands and dads are working on pieces for our pop-ups.  

The children are super excited and Jett’s already gotten quite a collection of toys that he thinks he will sell at “the store”.  It’s been so cool, finding unique antiques to display our items, finding unique accessories that y’all are going to love,  and the cutest clothes that I could put in my closet today.  We’re so excited to share everything with you all.  

But giving God all the glory is what it’s all about.  

Without Him, none of this would’ve come together.  

My devotional this morning was entitled “Christ in You”.  

The excerpt talked about being passionate about different things in life and when we use our gifts that God has given us, we will see His miraculous work throughout the world around us. 

And I’ve been seeing it a lot lately, all in his perfect, beautiful time.

And then I get the sweetest gift from a lady who used to babysit me.  This T-shirt.   Thank you sweet, Gina!  

Amen.  

“He made everything beautiful in its time.”  

Ecclesiastes 3:11

 So that’s what we hope to do when meeting people along this journey...

We want to shine His light, 

and live passionately for Him.  

He leads us, teaches us, comforts us, and more. 

May we be still, have peace, and forever cling to Him, 

on all of our days here on Earth.  

We are His children.  Don’t be a slave to fear.  

Listen to this song!  

no longer a slave to fear