With 5 treatments down and 28 more to go, I thought I’d share a little about the actual radiation process that I’ve been going through. Each morning I arrive at the Gibbs Cancer Center at Pelham around 8:30, scan my ID badge, and head for the waiting room. It’s usually very quiet with just a few people waiting until I’m called back. Everything is removed from the waist up, and I’m given a pillow case to cover. Then I’m positioned on the hard metal table just so, and three sweet radiation techs get me ready. A very warm towel is placed over the site as a barrier since they are radiating the chest wall. They explained it as a lot acts as an extra layer of skin and brings the radiation dose to the skin surface to make sure the dose goes to the right spot and not past it. Since the site is being radiated is on the left side, many deep breaths are necessary to raise my heart up so that it is not damaged. Yeah...that’s scary to hear, right? But I trust God, first, in all of this and I also trust that the ladies know exactly what they are doing. There’s lots of numbers on the screens above me that help them work their magic.
The first day was not fun and took forever as they drew on my chest to mark the exact areas that needed treatment. I looked like a road map. And then the breathing exercises came which were super hard, recovering from a yucky sinus infection that took two rounds of antibiotic to cure. But these last four haven’t been too bad. 10 minutes max! The music plays, the lady says “here we go” after I’m
in position, I’m asked to take three to four DEEP breaths, and this huge machine circles and changes positions around me. The sound that comes during this time is not music to my ears, but the whole time I’m laying there, I truly pray and He calms my fears. My arms are above my head, which has to be turned to the right, and I stare at one spot on the wall. I thank Him each time for getting me this far in my journey and ask Him to continue to hold me. Today’s song playing over the speaker was “Just Be Held” by Casting Crowns. The words say... “You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held. Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place. I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held.” So today and every single day, I try to do just that. The ten minutes that I’m back there is a perfect time to talk to Jesus. He hears from me more than once a day, I can assure you of that. So when it’s all done, I’m helped off the table with a “see you tomorrow, Mrs. Gault”. And it starts the same way again the next day. Many have asked if I’m burning yet and all I see right now is a slight redness and I can feel a little bit of heat, like the way you feel after you get a little sunburn. I see the kindest radiation oncologist every Thursday after treatment. So that’s pretty much the routine. Many have said the fatigue will come after a few more, but I’m praying it’ll be minimal, along with the burning. The best part of each evening has been Jett’s excitement over removing the chains for our countdown to being finished. He keeps me going, that’s for sure!
Many of you read my Facebook post about the first day of radiation and how terrified I was, but two of the coolest things happened that day as we took a trip to one of my favorite towns, Clemson, SC. We ran into a fun store called All Inspired, and let’s just say those ladies were full of inspiration that day, as I am sure they are every day. One of them casually struck up a conversation with me about my hair and that turned into an hour long story. They were all so interested in my journey and just truly loved on me. I’d never met any of them before but left feeling like I had three new best friends.
My devotional today from a little Lifeway subscription called Journey, talked about friends being life’s most cherished gifts and when the right ones come along, they help you become all that the Lord created you to be. And how true is that? I met these three women and instantly we formed a bond. The verse “A friend loves at all times.” (Proverbs 17:17) is perfect for this encounter. And then as I was leaving a dear pastor friend called to check on me. Let me preface with the fact that he didn’t know that I had had first treatment that day or the feelings that were roaring through my body but he said that the Holy Spirit laid on his heart to call me at that moment. And let’s just say that I sobbed my eyeballs out after we ended our conversation. The prayer he prayed through the phone helped me clearly see that God’s not finished with me yet and He’s going to do mighty things in my life. So inspired, I was again.
All inspired.
Radiation will continue through the end of April. I saw my precious OBGYN today and as she’s been through the stage I’m in now, her smile reminded me that I can do this. Although it may be harder on some days as I walk through those dark valleys, I’ll make it through this part of the journey just as I’ve done before, because His light shines bright.
Speaking of bright lights, last night we attended the “Strike Out Cancer” baseball game at my alma mater, Hillcrest High School (under the lights).
Throwing out the first pitch of the game, alongside a new friend, Amanda, that I’ve met along this journey was an honor. She also has a four year old and is battling this fierce disease, and has been a blessing.
I’m so thankful for our friendship and that we can check in on one another. It helps make the fight a little easier when you can talk to someone who knows what it’s like and the feelings you have day to day, especially having a little one. Speaking of my little one, Jett had a blast seeing the boys on the field, eating his first “big chew” gum, and playing his own ballgame with his daddy behind the stands. It’s been almost 20 years since I’ve been to a game after high school, and the memories flooded in while sitting in the stands watching the Rams win.
But the best part of the night was having the sweetest little girl spray paint my hair pink. You see that little girl lost her mommy a few years ago to breast cancer. To see her laugh and smile while making my hair look like cotton candy, sealed my heart tight. Bless that angel and her family as I know her mommy is missed!
So everyday I think about how I have been so blessed to meet new friends and to find a purpose in this path God has planned for me. I am so grateful for the experiences and relationships this journey has given me. God is so good, all the time.
And speaking of radiation, He radiates His love on us all the time, not just in a big ole machine.
“The Lord is my light and my salvation; who shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1
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