This time last year I was heading to dinner at one of our all time favorite seafood dives at the beach for my birthday. We had planned on going out with my sister-in-law, brother- in-law, their two girls, J and Jett. My in-laws sadly had to leave the beach earlier that week due to my father-in-law’s
health, so it was just us.
Until I saw that my momma and daddy had driven down to Beaufort to surprise their baby girl for my birthday.
We ate and talked, took pictures, and the whole time I couldn’t take my mind off of this huge lump I kept catching myself feel. The only person that knew about it was Jeremy and my doctor, since I’d messaged her earlier in the week. It was all consuming. I remember sitting on the beach watching the kids play, and I’d tear up. Or we’d be at the pool, and I’d feel it. I even almost took my mom to the bathroom at the restaurant that night to tell her about it. But I didn’t. I never would have wanted to ruin her trip down to the low country that they’d made for my special day. But as the beach week came to a close, i was ready to find out just what this thing was. I just knew that the doctor would tell me that everything was ok and it was just a cyst. I really did think that. One in eight. I wouldn’t be the one. But I was.
So I took the bull by the horns and fought the fight and
am still battling it to this very day.
And so year 37 has been one of the hardest, saddest, and sickening of all the years God has given me, but also it’s been wonderful, full of His faithfulness, and rich with love from my friends and family.
So what better way than to reminisce over this year, than naming 38 things I’m more thankful for than I’ve ever been...
1. A strong faith in Jesus, God’s son
2. My wonderful husband who never left my side
3. My precious little fellow that calls me mommy and loves on me every second we are together
4. My amazing parents and in-laws who have been with us every single step of the way
5. Our family who has loved on us and helped in many different situations
6. My TRIBE of friends who have prayed for us and held me, wiping many tears away
7. My precious doctors (Keith-OBGYN, Dyar-oncologist, Millican-surgeon, and Allen-radiation oncologist) who knew the plan and have constantly been by my side during each step
8. The chemo nurses who intravenously put poison in my body to kill this disease
7. ALL nurses and staff at St. Francis who took note of all of my concerns and gave the best care
8. The port ladies who are still accessing my port each time without me feeling a thing and lidocaine cream for numbing
9. Sister Dorothy and all of the sisters who shared God’s promises with me during treatments
10. My principal, team, and staff at BCES, who constantly came to check on me and give big hugs
11. My Giddy-Ups and their families, who understood the situation and were always willing to help in room 202
12. Cards from students, past and present, full of love and prayers
13. My precious substitute who stepped in and never missed a beat teaching my sweet students
14. Wigs! Three that kept me looking normal
15. Black out curtains that helped so much when I was so sensitive to light
16. Sonic slushees that helped with mouth sores
17. Clemson football-I looked forward to each game during the week
18. Baseball hats and crocheted caps
19. The many meals prepared with such love
20. Cards, texts, sursies, and phone calls that always brightened my spirits
21. Daily devotion books that helped me focus on Him
22. Music of all kinds, especially during recovery with surgery
23. Lemon drops and candy to take away the terrible taste from the flushes of my port
24. Visitors who kept my mind off of the scary times
25. My home and bed that kept me comfortable and warm
26. My sweet cleaning lady that came and helped so much
27. Heated chairs and blankets at chemo
28. Foot massages every treatment
29. Medicine to help curb the side effects
30. Sweet tea and lemonade
31. Celebrating holidays, especially Christmas with so many of my friends and family and Santa!
32. The Clemson Tigers for taking me on a tour of the most beautiful stadium and allowing me to be the Spirit of the Tiger honoree
33. Sunrises that remind me that I’ve lived another day and sunsets that help me count my blessings for the day
34. Good Netflix shows
35. Ka-brow eyebrow paint so I could draw them in
36. Wendy’s frosties
37. The book. The Bible. His word.
I could go on. But I’ll stop with these.
A recent devotion that I read said these words...”you never know when your time is going to expire, so remember: as you add years to your life, add life to your years.”
So on this birthday, I will sit back thanking God for 1 more year of life with my tribe. My wish this year is to live many more years, shining God’s light within me.
And that’ll be the best gift of all.
Today was the greatest day. I started with breakfast with my little buddy.
Lunch followed with the dearest friend and the lady who molded me into the teacher I am today.
She’s been by my side the whole way, bringing prizes for Jett on a regular basis (which makes him frelmoh so special), and loving on my whole family.
And then dinner with the crew, which was so special.
A night cap swim ended the night with a beautiful sunset and the sweetest cards from my guys.
William Barclay once said, “there are two great days in a person’s life...the day we are born and the day we discover why.”
This year, I’ve seen the why. God put me here on this Earth for a reason. He allowed me to be a daughter, a wife, a mother, a sister, and a friend to many. He let this cancer journey be a part of my walk to help others and share God’s love.
And that’s my why right now.
So today was a great day.
Oral chemo update: they lowered my dosage by 500 mg each time so I’m taking about 2,000 mg twice a day and after four days into round 3, I can see a slight difference. My hands are still peeling pretty bad but my feet seem a little better. I have an appointment with the podiatrist after our beach trip to remove both big toenails as they causing lots of pain. The Taxol caused all fingernails to lift and only affected my two toenails, thankfully!
When I get discouraged and irritated over these little things, I seriously have to stop and get myself in check. It could be worse. I’m still alive, I can wear flip flops and open toed shoes, and I can walk, move and function. I’m thankful for cute bandaids too to keep these suckers held on tight and to prevent any more pain.
Thanks for all your continuous prayers. I go back after
our beach trip and hopefully this dosage will be the exact amount my body can handle to keep the cancer away!
“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10
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