Trusting

Hearing the news of having breast cancer was the scariest time in my whole entire life.  And the reaction that happened Friday night probably beat that.  I can remember it all so vividly, as I could feel my lips and head literally swelling out of control and the tightness in my chest.  Everyone kept telling me that all was going to be ok, and the nurses were rushing in with the oxygen machine and cutting the chemo machines completely off.  These exact side effects were told to me before we started the regimen, but I just knew that it would go as smoothly as the first four treatments did.  Wow!  That didn't happen.  But God was faithful.  A sweet nurse rubbed my hand the whole time, a doctor stood over me for a long while, asking lots of questions and making big decisions as to what to do next.  My best friend Erica kept telling me to breath in the calmest voice.  But the decision was ultimately left up to me.  Continue or go home?  That was a hard one to make but through prayer and Jeremy whispering the words "trust" to me....I told the doctors and nurses to "let's do it". They gave me more Benadryl and started the Taxol at a slower rate and everything went smoothly and no reaction occurred.  We shut down the cancer center Friday night, literally with no other cars in the lot, and seeing that Jesus statue lit up amongst the stars made me rest easy that we'd made the right decision.  I'm a fighter and with God by my side, the fighting is a little easier.  

It's neat how stories from the Bible are laid on our hearts and can bring us so much peace.  My mom and dad came over to spend time with me today as I stayed home from school and shared the story of Lazarus, Mary, Martha, and Jesus.  My parents' preacher shared this story with their congregation at church last night and mentioned how trusting in God is key in our daily walk.  My dad shared the story with me.  (Isn't he just the cutest sporting his #tribecactus bracelet and using his "Race for the Cure" glass?) When Jesus was told of Lazarus' sickness, Jesus didn't rush to him, he didn't even worry.  He simply trusted and prayed that he would be ok and he was in the end.  Jesus said "I am the resurrection and the life and one day I will cause all of those who believe in me to live."  Jesus was taken to Lazarus, who had been dead for four days, and Jesus raised him from the dead.  It's in times like this when things happen and we don't understand, we have to trust in His timing.  

So the extra dose of Benadryl after starting Taxol made me so sleepy throughout the rest of evening.  And of course all of the fluids being put into my body made for many bathroom runs.  Note to self:  never, ever, ever wear cute little booties to chemo!  They are not the best for high-tailing it to the bathroom with your bff and nurse, rolling your iv machine down the hall!  Ha!  And after all that medicine, a wheelchair to the car was inevitable!  My body just didn't want to move after all of that!  

So now we wait until Friday!  I have to go much earlier than last time because they'll want to give it more time to actually drip, I guess.  I'll also have to probably take some Benadryl before coming, but that's all up to the doctor which I'm waiting to hear from.  

The side effects from the Taxol have been nothing like the A/C.  It seems a little easier, so far.  I'm still exhausted everyday and my fingers hurt from the neuropathy.  I couldn't button Jett's little shirt for church which made me get upset, and the body aches are no fun. This too shall pass!  I'm living and that's what matters!  

Thanks for all of your comments and prayers!  You just don't know how much each little Facebook or Instagram comment means to all of us.  We all read them all...me, J, and my parents.  It's a mighty comforting feeling to know that so many friends,  family, and even people who don't even know me are praying for us during this journey.

Upcoming events to pray for:

Taxol #2 on Friday...pray it goes smoothly and my blood counts are good

Pray for all of my doctors and nurses, as they have been precious and knowledgeable throughout every treatment

Pray that my health is good for these upcoming events:  Pumps and Pearls Fashion Show on October 17 and the Clemson/Georgia Tech game on October 28

Continue to pray for my students as they watch me daily...word on the street is I have a wig and now I'm just waiting any day for one of them to ask me about it!  

Pray for my sweet husband and Jett and their continuous daily walk with me!  

Pray for my parents as they watch their daughter fight!  

Love to all!  

I said to myself "relax, because the Lord takes care of you."  Psalm 116:7