I need thee....

Yesterday morning I just couldn't get the words from one of my favorite hymns to leave my brain as I was preparing for round #2. " I need thee, oh I need thee, every hour I need thee, oh bless me now my Savior, I come to thee." I was super anxious.  The first round experience seemed so easy and painless that I just couldn't help to worry about the second one...especially since on Friday this HUGE new lump appeared under my arm.  Nervous.  Nah!  Scared to death was more like it.  I talked to my nurse to see if they thought I should come in on Monday, but we decided Wednesday morning was close enough.  Turns out it that it was some type of infection in the form a boil.  After two rounds of antibiotic, I'm on the mend.  Thank you Jesus!

Yesterday began with my port accesss which was painless because I followed directions.  The directions say that an hour before you go, place a dollop size of Litacain on the portsite for numbing and cover with Saran Wrap.  So last time I listened only partially, placed the dollop on the site and then rubbed it in like I was rubbing lotion on a baby, until J came in and yelled "stop".  See I was supposed to just leave the big blob alone and not rub it in, so only that site would be numb.  This time I did it correctly and it worked.  My best friend Erica met us at the cancer center and went with me for this step.  I know she loves me because the girl doesn't do hospitals and she did great ALL day long!!!!  Next up was to see the doc. He looked at my lump that had me so worried and didn't seemed concerned at all.  And already antibiotics are seeming to do the trick.  Counts were good!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 So off we went for round #2 of the hard stuff.  I am on Adriamycin and Cytoxan for these first four rounds.  My sweet nurse yesterday was as calm and patient as my first one, taking all the jitters away.  She was a twin and her sister worked on the very same floor so that was neat to hear their story.  

They were both born with crooked pinkies and said that they made pinky promises the whole time they were in the womb!  Once again, God had a hand in placing these girls in my puzzle.  

During the chemo we enjoyed donuts that Erica brought for the whole oncology floor, Karen's coconut cake for J's birthday, and my favorite, Chicken Salad Chick, for lunch.  

Our precious friends Rob and Sandy White came and prayed with us, leaving us all so comforted.  His voice and words are straight from the heart and as my precious family circled closely around me during this time of prayer, I knew God was present during this huge time of need, just like in the words of that song, "I need thee every hour, most gracious Lord, No tender voice like Thine can peace afford." 

My favorite rendition of this song is by Joey and Rory Feek. Occasionally I'll catch a special on tv with her story of ovarian cancer and hearing her testimony and the her beautiful voice sing, stops me in my tracks and leaves me in tears, every time.  Big crocodile tears.  I often think to myself how terribly sad that God took her so young from her little girl,  husband, and family.   I don't question his plan EVER but wow, to see her strength through it all, praising His name the whole way through, is exactly how he wants us to be.  She is such an inspiration to many and my prayer is to be that encouraging, always choosing joy.  I want to fight for my life, even when it's hard to fight for and lastly I want to be real.  This whole road I'm on stinks!  It's not fun. It's scary as heck.  But in the end, I hopefully want to look back and know that I've helped others get through trials and that's it doable.  

So choosing joy is what we did yesterday.  J's 41st birthday was yesterday and we celebrated big. 

 Pancake breakfast, donuts, coconut cake in the hospital and a visit from his mom and dad, lunch, presents, dinner with family.  I didn't schedule my chemo on his birthday and honestly wanted to change it when I knew it was on his day but I didn't, and he wouldn't let me.  So we took the party to pod 5 and rocked it out.  Nurses enjoyed cake and donuts and hopefully Jeremy felt tons of love on his day.  

The sweetest girl, Lauren, came and interviewed me for the Spirit of the Tiger program.  We had tons of mutual friends and when she left I just couldn't help but think that she was yet another one of the people I've met on this road that has been pure blessings to us.

The last step of the process for the day was the Neulasta patch.  The last time I had to go back to the hospital 27 hours after chemo, but not this time!  Jett truly thinks I'm magical now.... hair changes and a box on my arm like a robot!  It's the little things, right!!??  

So, another great day all around, ending with the most relaxing foot massage ever before walking out of the center, finishing round #2.   Talk about once more feeling like a princess again.

As I lay here in the bed typing this now, with my precious little guy sleeping beside me, I am thinking of my own mommy.  Today is her special day, her birthday.  The love I have for Jett is all consuming like all mothers have for their children, and I know that it must be so hard for my mom to see her baby girl fighting for her life.  So pray for her today.  Pray that we can have a good day, even if it is laying beside each other watching tv, as I take on the yucky side effects.  She's an angel to me and I am so grateful for her love.  So wish her a big day, cause she's something wonderful!  

Again, I'm grateful for you all as y'all have rallied around us so with prayers, cards, visits, meals, gifts, and more.   Love to all!  



  1. Thankful round 2 is over. And your Mom is a very special woman and I have already wished her a Happy Birthday. Praying that the side effects will be mild this time. You are such an inspiration to us all. Thanks for letting us in on all this through your posts. Praying!


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